I budgeted $10,000 for expenses for this sabbatical. The repair bill, ticket, and motel night from the car accident came to almost $3400, putting a substantial hole into my budget the very first month.
Yesterday I volunteered for the day at Esalen, a beautiful retreat center in Big Sur. I spent five hours hoe-ing, weeding, and helping to hoop-n-net their gardens. It was a gorgeously sunny day in the low 70s. I could see the ocean (and dolphins and whales) from my vantage point and hoed in rhythm to the sound of the waves. Afterwards, I had a deliciously fresh organic lunch followed by a much-appreciated soak in the hot springs and a journaling retreat hanging in a swing overlooking the grounds and ocean. Bliss! Peace! Beauty! It was a special day indeed.
However, upon arriving home, I found my wallet was no longer in my purse. After frantically searching the car and all my belongings, I had to acknowledge that it was either lost or stolen at Esalen. A couple of days ago, I had visited an ATM and was so appalled by the service fees, I had withdrawn a larger chunk of money than usual so I wouldn't have to go back again anytime soon. So, my wallet had over $300 in it, along with the usual credit cards, driver's license, photos, stamps, gift cards, etc. Ouch!!!!
What is going on?! I truly feel there is some lesson in all of this expense lately. Is it around letting go and trusting? Is it reminding me why it's important to have a job and paycheck? Is it about staying grateful and centered no matter what? Is it a reminder to feel solidarity with people who are struggling financially for whatever reason? For me it's been a little of all of the above. It's also been a lot of extra frustration and questioning my faith in people (but that's for another blog posting). For now, I guess I'm grateful that I have the free time to start getting everything replaced and that I don't need to drive anywhere right now. But can I also say Enough Already!
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