Today's musing comes from the fact that even though I have time to do anything and everything I want, what used to feel like a break from work now has a "work" feel to it because I feel I HAVE to do it since I have the time! What strange stories we tell ourselves in our heads! For instance, doing yard work can be something I enjoy or it can be a chore. It's all in the attitude--whether I'm are doing it during my precious time off from a regular job or my abundant time off when I'm not working. Same with going out to do things in the evening. Before, I would say I had work in the morning or the weather was bad or it was too far to drive. Now that I have no excuses I am still finding it easier to hunker down in my cave. So easy to talk yourself into a small life!
Many of the things I planned to do during this time seem like they are a bigger effort than I want to put forth--doing more photography, dancing, working out, writng the great American novel, etc. Before, I used the excuse of being tired from work or not wanting to spend all my free time in front of a computer screen. Now I find I am still making excuses! What's up with that? I guess we all delude ourselves around the reasons we don't do one thing or another, when really the answer is simply we are too lazy. Hard to face the truth, but there it is.
Need to find more motivation to overcome the inertia. What I need is a partner in crime-- it's always easier (and more fun) with two!
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