What I realize some of this time off is doing is forcing me to face that dreaded "F" word-- fear. The fears of getting older, of not being as sharp, of not having enough money, of having life end without having focused on the people and activities that mean the most to me.
Today at church, the sermon was a great reminder that there is another "F" word that I am forgetting--faith. There are countless examples in the Bible and in life in general where people "followed their folly" and ended up with great results because they either earnestly sought to do God's will or they trusted that by doing what they truly loved, everything would work out (or at least they would feel fulfilled trying!). What if I firmly believed that with God all things are possible? What if I knew deep in my soul that if God is for us, who can be against us? What if I felt that I was indeed a "beloved child" in whom God is well pleased? Perhaps this feeling is not a mid-life crisis but rather a crisis of faith!
As I drove home along the ocean, I felt the freedom to move forward with some of my dreams, regardless of what I ultimately decide to do career or life wise. When I got home, I contacted a photographer friend and asked about apprenticing with him. I also made reservations to go visit some family I haven't seen in a while next month. Face your fears and folly on!
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