What do I like most about not having to go to work? Having TIME. Lots of it. Time to explore things I'm interested in, time to be with people I'm interested in, time to do things slowly and leisurely, instead of feeling like life is being lived at the speed of...well, life. It gives a delicious feel to normal, everyday activities. Instead of wolfing down a fifteen-minute lunch, I can take a whole hour if I want. Instead of racing from one store to the next to get errands done in an hour, I can take a whole afternoon. I can play the guitar for ten minutes or three hours and not feel guilty. I can talk on the phone for as long as I want. I can enjoy a tv show without feeling like I just "wasted" all of my free time. The days unfold without rush, without stress but I'm still being very productive and experiencing a lot of variety in my days. What has changed is that things have slowed down and the result is I am so much more relaxed and sane and pleasant to be around! Life feels peaceful and I am so grateful.
However, in the midst of feeling like I have all the time in the world, I also feel the preciousness of time more now that I'm older. I want to spend more time with family, with friends, with activities I enjoy, because I know it is a limited time offer. My dad was saying yesterday that a ballplayer will get a five-year, multimillion dollar contract and he wonders if he will even be around by the time the contract is up (he's 85 now). How important it is to make time for what truly matters--none of us know how long we have on this ride called Earth. And as society often reminds us, no one on their deathbed wishes they had spent more time at the office! How will I take back some of this peace of mind when I return to my job?
Monday, March 16, 2015
Saturday, March 7, 2015
One is the Loneliest Number
I can fully understand now why men who retire pressure their wives into retiring soon afterward. Even if you have a fairly busy social life (like me, which unfortunately most men don't), there is SO much time alone to fill. And while I am an introvert by nature, even I am having a hard time with all the alone time. You find yourself talking to yourself. You find the tv or stereo on just for company.
I strongly believe that man (or woman) is not meant to be alone--at least not most of the time. It's too easy to fall into rumination and isolation. You forget that there is a great big alive world out there. You forget how to carry on a conversation beyond commenting on the weather. Man is a social animal. We get a lot of our creative juices and energy from other people. I think women have it easier in that they tend to be more social by nature but it's hard no matter who you are if you are "going it alone". It is a good reminder to start and keep up the social contacts I already have.
I still think living in a commune or collective would be the best solution! Maybe that's why they invented retirement homes!
I strongly believe that man (or woman) is not meant to be alone--at least not most of the time. It's too easy to fall into rumination and isolation. You forget that there is a great big alive world out there. You forget how to carry on a conversation beyond commenting on the weather. Man is a social animal. We get a lot of our creative juices and energy from other people. I think women have it easier in that they tend to be more social by nature but it's hard no matter who you are if you are "going it alone". It is a good reminder to start and keep up the social contacts I already have.
I still think living in a commune or collective would be the best solution! Maybe that's why they invented retirement homes!
Wednesday, March 4, 2015
Going with the Flow
Another "F" word! They're everywhere... :)
I figured out something very basic--I don't have to decide anything right now. Talk about relieving some pressure! I keep spiraling the questions over and over in my mind--where to live, who to live with, whether I should keep my job--and it simply wears me out and adds stress to what should be a very peaceful and relaxing time of my life. So today, I stopped thinking about the future (which I have little control over anyway) and decided not to decide. Not as a cop out, but simply because I don't need to yet. When the time comes, I will have more information and will make a choice based on what feels right and go from there. Until then, my job is simply to stay awake and aware to my feelings and my opportunities. Open heart, open mind. It was like being given permission to exhale after holding my breath way too long.... Why do we waste so much of life fretting (another good "f" word!) when we could be enjoying life so much more instead?! All is well, all will be well, and we need to trust that it is so.
I figured out something very basic--I don't have to decide anything right now. Talk about relieving some pressure! I keep spiraling the questions over and over in my mind--where to live, who to live with, whether I should keep my job--and it simply wears me out and adds stress to what should be a very peaceful and relaxing time of my life. So today, I stopped thinking about the future (which I have little control over anyway) and decided not to decide. Not as a cop out, but simply because I don't need to yet. When the time comes, I will have more information and will make a choice based on what feels right and go from there. Until then, my job is simply to stay awake and aware to my feelings and my opportunities. Open heart, open mind. It was like being given permission to exhale after holding my breath way too long.... Why do we waste so much of life fretting (another good "f" word!) when we could be enjoying life so much more instead?! All is well, all will be well, and we need to trust that it is so.
Sunday, March 1, 2015
The "F" Word on a Sunday
What I realize some of this time off is doing is forcing me to face that dreaded "F" word-- fear. The fears of getting older, of not being as sharp, of not having enough money, of having life end without having focused on the people and activities that mean the most to me.
Today at church, the sermon was a great reminder that there is another "F" word that I am forgetting--faith. There are countless examples in the Bible and in life in general where people "followed their folly" and ended up with great results because they either earnestly sought to do God's will or they trusted that by doing what they truly loved, everything would work out (or at least they would feel fulfilled trying!). What if I firmly believed that with God all things are possible? What if I knew deep in my soul that if God is for us, who can be against us? What if I felt that I was indeed a "beloved child" in whom God is well pleased? Perhaps this feeling is not a mid-life crisis but rather a crisis of faith!
As I drove home along the ocean, I felt the freedom to move forward with some of my dreams, regardless of what I ultimately decide to do career or life wise. When I got home, I contacted a photographer friend and asked about apprenticing with him. I also made reservations to go visit some family I haven't seen in a while next month. Face your fears and folly on!
Today at church, the sermon was a great reminder that there is another "F" word that I am forgetting--faith. There are countless examples in the Bible and in life in general where people "followed their folly" and ended up with great results because they either earnestly sought to do God's will or they trusted that by doing what they truly loved, everything would work out (or at least they would feel fulfilled trying!). What if I firmly believed that with God all things are possible? What if I knew deep in my soul that if God is for us, who can be against us? What if I felt that I was indeed a "beloved child" in whom God is well pleased? Perhaps this feeling is not a mid-life crisis but rather a crisis of faith!
As I drove home along the ocean, I felt the freedom to move forward with some of my dreams, regardless of what I ultimately decide to do career or life wise. When I got home, I contacted a photographer friend and asked about apprenticing with him. I also made reservations to go visit some family I haven't seen in a while next month. Face your fears and folly on!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)