Well, although the rain around here is NOT gone, this free time has been invaluable in allowing me to step back from my "regularly scheduled life" to see what directions I need to take. All the classes have been enriching and life changing for me and I know will be guiding my career decisions down the road. If nothing else, they gave me new skills to fall back on if I decide to leave the role of school counselor and have given me a new appreciation of what sustainability means!
This time also gave me the ability to connect with myself, family, and friends in a deeper, calmer, saner way, which was so healing and life giving! It also allowed me to tell the truth about my marriage and to start letting go of it while still maintaining the relationship. It appears we will be filing our divorce papers this week here in Colorado (to avoid California's community property laws and the mess that creates). Neither of us is asking for anything besides that which is already ours, which makes it easy legally and less stressful emotionally.
As with any loss, there is sadness, some second guessing, and some fear, but the fact of the matter is we have drifted apart so much over the six years of living separate lives that it is a relief to be able to move on, live in one place, and be able to find companionship and grounding where we are. I hope we are always friends--he is a good man, I am a good woman. The challenges of our situation and circumstances were too much to overcome. May God bless us both...
